Between the Lines
by The King's Lover
Summary: To protect Dean, Castiel will do anything - even if that means pushing him away. But Dean isn't leaving without him. Complete. 8x02 spoilers. Destiel pairing. PG rating.
1. I prayed to you, Cas

Between the Lines – I prayed to you, Cas. Every night.

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A/N: So, I'm new to the Destiel fandom, but with fodder like 8x02, I couldn't resist a quick fanfic! Forgive any continuity errors. I'm hoping to maybe turn this into a collection of oneshots if I can build up enough motivation/time. Stay tuned and enjoy! :3

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or any of the characters.

Destiel. G rating. Spoilers of 8x02, if you haven't seen that one scene.

Chapter Summary: 8x02 - To protect Dean, Castiel will do anything. Even if that means pushing him away.

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_"I prayed to you, Cas. Every night."_

Words lie exposed between them as broken, bleeding wounds.

Castiel detects Dean's frustration, and the angel's face falls with self-loathing. He has heard the prayers of his friend, heard every whisper of bargaining and every growl of anger-laced fear. Every night since the first they came to this place, Dean has called for his angel, and each time Castiel has denied him.

This is fact, and Castiel will tell the truth. But he cannot look Dean in the eye as he does so.

_"I know."_

The words slip out, hindered by regret.

_"You know and you didn't…?"_

Dean's brow knits with anger and betrayal. Castiel has seen this look before, and the memories of that time mixed with the reality of the now cut into his very being. He wants to explain himself. He does not want Dean to think so lowly of him. But he struggles with words. He does not know how to properly convey his guilt and remorse for this situation, or for what he knows must come next.

Castiel takes too long to answer. Dean's scowl seems permanently fixed and growing deeper, effectively erasing any trace of the smile that lingered from their reunion.

_"What the hell's wrong with you?"_

For fear of earning Dean's hatred, Castiel cannot contemplate the perfect sentence structure any longer, and the words slip out, almost in a ramble. If he tells the fullest truth, the necessary explanation will be there, somewhere, Castiel decides. No more lies. Never again.

_"I am an angel in a land of abominations."_

Not enough.

_"There have been things hunting me from the moment we arrived."_

_"Join the club!"_

Dean's voice is sharp. He does not understand.

_"These are not just monsters, Dean. They are Leviathan. I have a price on my head."_

Castiel cannot stop the words now. Nor can he keep the fear from his eyes. Still glaring, Dean does not understand. He has no way of knowing that Castiel's fear is for him. Not unless Castiel tells him.

_"And I have been trying to stay one step ahead of them to…"_

The angel hesitates. He does not want Dean to worry. He does not want Dean to _know_. Dean will not fear for his own life, and he will never back down. Castiel knows this, but he cannot leave the words unsaid. They are too important somehow, too necessary for Dean's forgiveness and comfort.

Dean looks beaten and torn down. Castiel cannot nor will not strike him further.

_"To keep them away from you."_

In an instant, anger retracts from Dean's features, removing the hard lines from his eyes and mouth. Surprise widens them instead.

_"That's why I ran."_

Castiel watches as Dean stares. Dean seems less distressed now, which pleases Castiel but does not make easier what must come next.

The angel looks out over the stream and down to the running water. He has gone over the reasoning for their necessary distance with repetition. To protect Dean, Castiel must remain separate from him. He cannot be selfish in this.

Yet Castiel struggles. Dean sought him out once, would he do so again? Would he continue to endanger himself for a broken friendship they both still harvest? Castiel does not know, and he cannot chance it. This time when they separate, Dean must be the one who acts.

_"Just… leave me. Please."_

The words sound forced, even to Castiel's ears, but he cannot take them back. He mustn't.

10.20.12


	2. I'm not leaving here without you

Between the Lines – I'm not leaving here without you.

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A/N: I was going to move onto a different scene, but I hated leaving the first half of this one so open ended, so here you go. I abridged Benny lines because three is a crowd and I felt like it. I guess this also officially makes this a oneshot collection, weee!

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or any of the characters.

Destiel, PG rating. Spoilers of 8x02. Fic labeled as complete because each chapter can stand alone.

Chapter Summary: 8x02 - Dean isn't leaving without Cas.

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_"Just leave me. Please."_

Like hell.

_"Cas."_

The name feels like a plea, probably because it is one. As much as Dean would like to just haul the angel over his shoulder and not really give him a choice about this, he knows he has to stay reasonable. Castiel could disappear in the length of a blink, and then this – the fear for his friend, the worry that he'll never find him, and the growing disconnect between the man Dean's becoming and the man he was before which feels slighted only with Cas' presence – _all this_ would have to start over again.

_"We're getting out of here. We're going home."_

The desperation that weighs on Dean's voice might make him shutter back home, but here, in this monsterland, Dean doesn't care how desperate the words are. He needs Cas with him. End of story.

_"Dean, I can't."_

Cas isn't looking at him, and his words sound hollow. Dean brushes off the fear that Cas says he can't because he can't, not because he won't. Such worries would lead to madness. There has to be a way. Dean will find it.

_"We'll figure it out."_

His promise is to both Cas and himself.

_"Cas, buddy." _

Cas still refuses to look at him.

That pesky fear worms its way inside of Dean again, churning in the pit of his stomach. Fear for Cas. Fear for himself. What will happen if they are separated? What will Dean have to do to survive? And who will be there to tell him that he is still the same man, even as he feels more and more like a monster?

_"I need you."_

Finally, Cas looks up from the river. He almost seems sad, as his head sits on an angle and his gaze locks with Dean's. But sadness isn't all that's there. Some compassion. Some empathy. And something else that looks an awful lot like relief.

Maybe Dean isn't the only one afraid of being lost.

_"Dean."_

Castiel breathes his name more than says it, and Dean knows that the angel is going to fight him on this. Cas has reasons, sure, but damn it, they are not going to be split apart by some misguided sense of angelic martyrdom.

_"And if Leviathan want to take a shot at us, let 'em. We ganked those bitches once before, we can do it again."_

Cas looks away, glances back.

_"It's too dangerous."_

How dangerous the situation may be with Cas around does not figure into Dean's equation. Not having him would be worse. Worse than worse, unbearable. Looking for Cas, knowing he's out there somewhere, was the only thing that kept Dean sane. He's not going to lose him now that he's found him. And he's sure as hell not going to leave Cas here. This place eats angels for breakfast.

If anything were to happen Cas…

Dean remembers what it feels like to pull a wet bodiless trench coat out from the water's edge. The pain clenching around his heart gives his words a hard edge.

_"Let me bottom-line it for you…"_

He eases a little when Cas focuses on him, but not much.

_"I'm not leaving here without you." _

Castiel's eyes widen a little before recovering. Dean wonders over this reaction, briefly. Did Cas think Dean would leave him behind?

_"Understand?"_

Cas' blue eyes reflect a warmth Dean has not seen since coming to this place.

_"I understand."_

10.21.12


End file.
